Learning to Say No Can Save the Holiday Season

Sometimes we push ourselves so hard we lose sight of what's important - By Lisa Weber

All the bedroom doors were closed and everyone was tucked in under their warm comforters. Except for me. I had taken on the 2013 holiday season like it was another full-time job. Without enough daylight hours to squeeze it all in, I was working the graveyard shift and bleeding myself dry.

For a long time, I evaluated my value based on how much I could accomplish for myself and others. Acts of service, checked boxes on task lists … but there’s a trap to this method of pleasing people.
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I didn’t want to say no! I accepted every invitation. I committed to every cookie party, holiday light festival, and gift exchange. I didn’t want my kids to miss out, and I certainly didn’t want to let down friends and family.

With a packed schedule, I was up in the middle of the night bedazzling silly Christmas shirts for Ugly Sweater parties and scrolling Pinterest for drink concoctions to wow party guests. The more I took on, the less I enjoyed the things that mattered the most to me.

Doing too much and living lessSaying yes to everyone was like a paper cut: Tolerating one is doable, but after 10 or 20, they have an impact on your physical and emotional state. I was neglecting my basic needs and suffering an enormous price.

I worried my little girls would miss out on things, until I realized I was causing them to miss out on me. I had become an employee that worked in the house, baking, sewing, and prepping. Then I would be their taxi driver, shuttling them from activity to activity. The worst part? I justified it as being a great mom that gave them the best experiences.

I neglected to see the negative impact it was having on me and my relationships... keep reading